55 A Day

Lemme know what you think of them, and what can be cut:


You're Probably in the Bad Somewhere, Though

I killed you again, yesterday, in Psych class. I told my professor you'd died of a drug overdose. Last semester, for Calculus, it was an SUV. The tears always come easily when I say I don't want to talk about it. It's been two years since you actually died, and I haven't had to write a paper since. If there's a somewhere, somewhere you're laughing.


The Healing Can Begin

I treated my next girlfriend far better than I'd treated you. I surprised her with gifts. I never denied her my shoulder or ear. I got close without suffocating her, and never let her go to bed angry. After four months, she felt secure in the relationship in a way you never did. That's when I slept with her younger sister. Revenge is a dish best passed around the party.

"You're Probably in the Bad Somewhere, Though" is straight through the heart. It is good. Perhaps in the future I will say more. But right now I have a headache and to go to bed.

Thanks, Jackson! I like these two as well. Here are new versions, now at 57 and 59 words, respectively:


The Next Girlfriend

I treated her far better than I'd treated you. I supplied an ear and a shoulder, gave surprise gifts, and told her secrets I'd always kept. Four months into our relationship, she felt more secure than you'd felt after four years. That's when I slept with her little sister. Revenge is a dish best passed around the party.

[The other potential last line is simply: "It felt like revenge." Or perhaps some other play on the "dish served cold" saying.]


You're Probably In The Bad Somewhere, Actually

I killed you off again, yesterday, in Psych class. I told Professor Noonan you'd died from a drug overdose. Last semester, for my missing Calculus paper, an SUV plowed into you. I cry like it's still raw, but it's been two years since you actually died. I haven't written a paper since. If there's a somewhere, somewhere you're laughing.

Why did you change "killed you again" to "killed you off again"? The second one reads a little awkward to me (though I'm not sure if it's because I read the first version first).

Though, honestly, I love the story it tells. Makes me sad inside.